They are not exactly the easiest things to talk about really... you know, relationships; difficult compromising, troublesome relationships, a fair percentage of them ending in total disaster. I am at the end of my tether hearing about decent people being taken for idiots where relationships are concerned. People who put all their energy, money, time, love and effort into something they have no guarantee on. Something which cannot be returned, cannot always be fixed and can easily be broken. And the others out there willing to abuse these factors ought to be ashamed of themselves.

Take Laura for example, an old school friend of mine; a woman who works extremely hard to reach her goals, a woman who puts her family and friend’s well being before her very own, and most importantly, yet frustratingly, a woman who bends over backwards for her care free, jobless, and quite frankly, disgusting waster of a boyfriend, all in the name of ‘love’. And here is a man (or a poor excuse of a man) who spends his days slouched in front of the day time television shows, drowning into his own miserable existence and self stupidity, claiming benefits for his idleness, and drinking his own body weight in Stella on a daily basis... what a catch for the ladies out there. I cannot understand how an attractive, hard working and caring person like Laura, ended up with a sponging, good-for-nothing like Nigel. A man who cares more about where his next fix of cannabis comes from, rather than how his girlfriend’s day at work went, or how his girlfriend is managing to cope emotionally after hearing about her mother’s recent cancer diagnosis, or how she even manages to pay the bills solely. I suppose it would not be so bad if Nigel were to contribute to the domestic chores, while Laura was working herself to death in order to beat off competition in the work place; she needs her job so desperately. Simple tasks like making up the bed in the morning, or vacuuming the carpet in which he usually treads dry mud into on a daily basis after refusing to take his shoes off at the door, but no... he would rather invite his dole dossing friends around to her well kept and pristine home, the house usually resembling that of a bomb site soon after their arrival. I have told Laura countless times that she needs out of this one way relationship, and the sooner the better quite honestly, but love makes people do stupid things.

Or how about my neighbour Darren; the one everyone can rely on; an extremely handsome guy, not the brightest of the bunch, admitted, but a hard worker none the less. A man you could always guarantee to put a smile on your face, with no added intentions. A man for all his charm and good looks still stood by his sickening partner Sandra. To be quite frank, he could have any woman he wanted, but Sandra is his ‘girl’. Now Sandra, she’s the kind of person who gives women a very bad name. While Darren’s out working as a scaffolder from 6:30am until 4:30pm, Sandra is using their home as a brothel, a state of affairs which has once been described by another neighbour as ‘One out the back door, another through the front.’ This made me cringe inside. A woman degrading herself to such a level, a person who had everything handed to them on a plate; romantic dinners in fancy restaurants, holidays abroad in exotic countries, a fully furnished home with the added extra of a cleaner on a weekly basis, not to mention a smart car on their newly tarmaced drive, courtesy of Darren of course. Such deceit which occurred behind Darren’s back, only for the man to find out about what was happening in their home, and to forgive her. I can’t say she’s a complete waste of space, like I could with Nigel, seeing as she works a measly ten hours a week, but Nigel never used Laura’s home to conduct some kind of orgy fest. As far as anybody could tell, Darren was a gentleman, and put Sandra on a pedestal. If Darren were to stand up to Sandra, and tell her that their relationship was over, she would break; she is damaged goods. Her actions were bought on by nothing more than greed and complete ignorance between knowing what is right and what is wrong in a relationship. And you just know she will be one of these women who will go on to claim that her affairs occurred because of neglect or a feeling of being unloved. But nobody will ever ask how Darren feels about the situation. Nobody will ever consider what was going through his mind when he found out that the woman he so wrongly did right by, was off with every Tom, Dick and Harry in the local area. Being the man that he is, he forgave her and moved on with his life, because love makes people do stupid things

Even I have been duped in life; deceived by a loved one, only to forgive them for what they had done, and to blame myself. I was once the kind of person who would look at myself and say ‘Why did this happen? What have I done wrong? Had I gained weight? Maybe I had been neglectful, shameful, disappointing or hurtful?’ But some people have to realize that there are others on this planet that can never stay satisfied for long, and will always look elsewhere. There are people out there willing to bleed others dry; dry of their money, possessions, emotions, trust, happiness and love. People who will forever taint others ever wanting to experience a relationship again, not allowing themselves to take the risk after realising the pain which can be caused; too damaged to put trust into anything without a guarantee. But I have come to be stronger for myself, and to ask ‘Why should I allow somebody to spoil any potential future happiness I may experience with another?’. I am a strong, confident, attractive woman with high expectations, and I’ll be damned if I allow any other being to stop me in my tracks. From now on, I’m going to put my foot down; never again will I fork out for the whole bill, or be pressurized into doing something I don’t want to. I refuse to be used for anything; as a bank, as a taxi service, as a whore, as a housewife, as a child barer or as a prize. When he goes out from now on, I’ll be damned if I let some dolly bird with a push up bra steal him away. This is not feminism, obsession or sadism, this is liberation. This is me standing up for myself as a human being for what I believe in; no longer being under the control of my significant other. This is me salvaging my respect and dignity, all in the name of love.